Apr 26

Whatever You Can Manage is Enough

10 Comments / Personal Growth

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Almost on a daily basis, I beat myself up for not writing in this blog. Trust me, it’s not for a lack of ideas, a lack of motivation, or for any of the million other excuses that people use to convince themselves not to do something.

While I’d like to be updating here twice a week, life isn’t exactly ideal right now. Normally, I post about how I’m trying to carefully curate my life and relationships, but I suppose I am applying some of that essentialism to my projects – and Habitually Hopeful is sadly not making the short list at the moment.

So what am I doing? Basically, I’m being a devoted cheerleader for my significant other as he goes about a task that most anyone could agree is voluntary torture: finding a job out of state. While he puts in the necessary hours hunting for the right job in our dream city, I am playing the role of cheerleader and domestic engineer most evenings. Instead of sewing a fabulous dress, I’m tending to a sink overflowing with dirty dishes on a seemingly endless cycle; instead of racing to the keyboard with inspiration, I’m tearing up over a cutting board of diced onions – why do onions have to be so delicious and cruel? And why do all my delicious recipes have so many onions?

It’s difficult to keep things running for two with the hands of one, but I find relief knowing that the sacrifice of my usual activities is relieving a lot of stress on Brian, who is already up against one of the most stressful, confidence-shaking pursuits of adulthood.

I am still managing to squeeze in some things I’m proud of, like the use of a healthy meal planning service and a pretty massive purge of our possessions, and I hope to give these developments the proper attention soon.

In the meantime, the lesson I’m learning is that you can’t win at everything.

The perfectionist in me is constantly dissatisfied, and it’s a real nuisance, but I am choosing the battles I can win instead of constantly setting myself up for failure or dropping the ball when my partner needs support most. It’s difficult to let myself off the hook for things I would much rather do, but that’s the challenge at hand.

There are a very limited number of things a person can do to help with something as personal as a job hunt, so in my own way, the endless cycle of chores are my investment toward our collective dreams. So, in whatever absence I must take, I would love to remind you (and me) of this:

Everything can’t matter all the time. Whatever you can manage is enough.

 

10 Comments

  1. nikkiana

    April 28, 2014

    Reply

    So true. There are only so many hours in a day, and often other things are far more important than sitting down to write a blog post…. and other days, sitting down to write one is just what’s needed. :)

    1. Ashley Laabs

      May 12, 2014

      So true! Sometimes you need to walk away, and other times all you want to do is come back!

  2. Sage Grayson

    April 28, 2014

    Reply

    You sound like me from a few years ago when we lived in Chicago and my husband was applying for jobs in San Francisco. It was stressful and a lot of other things dropped off so we could focus on that one goal.

    Good for you for recognizing that something has to give while you play the part of cheerleader. That’s life! Things will look a lot different once you two are past this hurdle. Good luck! :)

  3. Starla J

    April 29, 2014

    Reply

    I think we all go through the balancing act…or doing our best to balance it all. Thank you for sharing.

    1. Ashley Laabs

      May 12, 2014

      I think life is just one big balancing act! Thanks so much for stopping by, Starla! :)

  4. Gerianne

    April 29, 2014

    Reply

    I love this! It’s so true. So important to not beat ourselves up too much, especially when we know in our heart of hearts that what we are doing matters. And what you are doing for Brian is amazing! ❤️

    1. Ashley Laabs

      May 12, 2014

      Thanks, Ger! It’s been nice to find joy in service to someone I love. It’s definitely a growing experience from putting myself first!

  5. Laura Bleecker

    May 2, 2014

    Reply

    Thank you for this article; it is exactly what I needed to hear! Six months post-graduation, I am no closer to finding a career in my field of study then I was in November; it is extremely disheartening. This is good advice to remember while I attempt to figure out what is next in my life! Good luck to you and your significant other in your transition as well! ^_^

    1. Ashley Laabs

      May 12, 2014

      Thanks, Laura! Searching for a job can be the most soul crushing task, but I know that no matter how long it takes you will come out the other side having learned some valuable things about life and yourself!

  6. Habitually Hopeful | Don’t Call It A Comeback

    August 23, 2014

    Reply

    […] my last post I wrote about how I was doing my part to support my significant other as he made a difficult but important transition. In addition, I took on most of the planning for […]

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